One for the Mummies of the forum ;)

MotherNatureVer2 · 18-04-2005, 08:38 PM

Just a Mum?

A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office
was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. She hesitated,
uncertain how to classify herself. 'What I mean is,"explained the
recorder,
"do you have a job or are you just a...

"Of course I have a job", snapped the woman. "I'm a Mum."
"We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation, 'housewife' covers it", said
the recorder emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day..I found myself in the
same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a
career woman, poised, efficient and possessed of a high sounding title like
"Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar"

"What is your occupation?" she probed.

What made me say it? I do not know. The words simply popped out.

"I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human
Relations".

The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and looked up as
though she had not heard right.I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the
most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was
written in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

"Might I ask", said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in
your field?"

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself
reply,"I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't) in the
laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and
out).

I'm working for my Masters, (the whole darned family) and already
have four credits (all daughters)."

"Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities,
(any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is
more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill
careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just financial."

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she
completed the form, stood up and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career,
I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3.Upstairs I could
hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby) in the child development
program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a beat
on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to
mankind than "just another Mum."

Motherhood! .. What a glorious career! Especially when there's a
title on the door.

Does this make grandmothers "Senior Research associates in the field
of
Child Development and Human Relations" and great grandmothers
"Executive
Senior Research Associates"? I think so!!! I also think it makes
Aunts "Associate Research Assistants."

FordFan86 · 18-04-2005, 09:01 PM

lol, some nice reading and thinking :P

bindi · 19-04-2005, 08:53 AM

Mwahahahaha I like it

:

You know, I have started to become more feminist and cranky cos I am reading too much... but I have noticed something that I am sure other women have noticed before me.

: There was an article in a newspaper a couple of weeks ago about how some female news journalist (Maxine McKewn I think) chose her "career" over "motherhood". (Are there any articles about how a male news journalist chose his "career" over "fatherhood"?) Now it seems like in today's society, this is starting to become the norm, and some mothers feel like Maxine is missing out (a few applaud her decision) whereas some singletons (planning to never have kids) agree with her - who the hell would want to become a mother?

Mothers know they are devalued by society and feel they are "just a mum", yet it is an important job. But then there are women struggling the world over to be a mum and a worker/career woman.

My thoughts are rather rabid on the subject, but what I want to know is when was the last time anyone saw in the newspaper "men having difficulty juggling career and fatherhood"? I've seen one article only. This guy cut his working week from 60 hours to 55 hours so he could read to his kids every night. Whoopdeedo. It is always assumed in relationships that the mother will be the one either full timing it as mum or trying to work part time to fit around their children. Why don't you hear of the dad who's wife is working full time while he does all the housework, cooking, cleaning etc and juggles 3 children, organises daycare and goes out to work? And can only work part time because of the kids' needs? WHERE'S THE EQUALITY IN OUR LIVES???

:

Oops I've gone off topic. It's sad how the woman in your story Lisa had to talk herself up cos nobody takes being a mother seriously :(

MR_SIDO · 19-04-2005, 09:47 AM

ummmmm errrrrrrrr............ Make my dinner!!!!!

:

Sorry could not resist.

paul7v7 · 19-04-2005, 10:01 AM

nice story

Quote:

Originally Posted by MR_SIDO

ummmmm errrrrrrrr............ Make my dinner!!!!!

:

Sorry could not resist.

: love it...

Angry Beaver · 19-04-2005, 10:49 AM

have to agree bindi and its a sad state of affairs when we do have to change the label to make the product more apealing. But i think to that society still is and probably will always have the prehistoric notion that man are the hunters gathers and women are just the cooks slash everything else. Its a major sore point of mine but i think now that i will no longer be known as a housewife/ mother but a research associate in the field of child development.

Tote · 19-04-2005, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bindi

Mwahahahaha I like it

:

You know, I have started to become more feminist and cranky cos I am reading too much... but I have noticed something that I am sure other women have noticed before me.

: There was an article in a newspaper a couple of weeks ago about how some female news journalist (Maxine McKewn I think) chose her "career" over "motherhood". (Are there any articles about how a male news journalist chose his "career" over "fatherhood"?) Now it seems like in today's society, this is starting to become the norm, and some mothers feel like Maxine is missing out (a few applaud her decision) whereas some singletons (planning to never have kids) agree with her - who the hell would want to become a mother?

Mothers know they are devalued by society and feel they are "just a mum", yet it is an important job. But then there are women struggling the world over to be a mum and a worker/career woman.

My thoughts are rather rabid on the subject, but what I want to know is when was the last time anyone saw in the newspaper "men having difficulty juggling career and fatherhood"? I've seen one article only. This guy cut his working week from 60 hours to 55 hours so he could read to his kids every night. Whoopdeedo. It is always assumed in relationships that the mother will be the one either full timing it as mum or trying to work part time to fit around their children. Why don't you hear of the dad who's wife is working full time while he does all the housework, cooking, cleaning etc and juggles 3 children, organises daycare and goes out to work? And can only work part time because of the kids' needs? WHERE'S THE EQUALITY IN OUR LIVES???

:

Oops I've gone off topic. It's sad how the woman in your story Lisa had to talk herself up cos nobody takes being a mother seriously :(

Excellent point Bindi, the one that loves me has been doing her job, plus looking after our daughter all alone in a big old house for nearly 5 weeks now, all without complaint whilst I'm on a jolly on the other side of the world. She's fantastic and I can't imagine my life without her.
I wonder if the women who chose "career over motherhood" do it because they dont want to have the bits that go droopy after kids or because they really feel that they cant do both. There are plenty of successfull women out there who have had kids and a career. A few people I've run across won't have kids because they are too vain.

One of the women I work with has a husband who stays at home while she works and she has run into quite a bit of prejudice because of it. Things like asking for more money from her boss and being told that she should send her husband out to work and "be normal".
Regards,
Tote

MotherNatureVer2 · 19-04-2005, 03:27 PM

I thought this would bring a bit of discussion :P

As most know I am a single research associate in the field of child development. I have had a career and still do part time as well. As far as loosing the 'look' just because i have a few more well rounded bits now is a minor visual thing ......... I cant understand these vein women who think that age is not going to catch up on them just because they chose not to have kids.

I realise its a personal choice, to have or not to have, but personally I couldnt( As Im sure other Mothers would agree) imagine life without my kids ........ How lonely it would be should a relationship break up as they do........ who would help us in our declining age? ....... who would we get grey hairs over? ........

BJ · 19-04-2005, 03:56 PM

As a house husband yep thats right we (my wife and i) made the choise some time ago that she could make more than i ever could. I get some very strange looks from most people i tell they on the most part think i am a widower. Our house hold runs just fine my wife god bless her is just the best. I love to cook and do all of the running around, have done for the last 3 or 4 years now. Our daughter thinks it is normal and most of her freinds think it is great that her dad takes such an interest in her life, god nos i misted so much when she was born up until she was 11 or 12. I would not change back for anything. One thing i would say is that most guys think it is a cake walk, i no i did all those years ago. Big John.

19-04-2005, 05:52 PM

Thankyou Mother Nature
I have just been given a promotion from 'Associate Manager of Risk Assesment and Internal Affairs' to 'Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations'. I always knew I was destined for greater things.

My grandma told me all the time.

:

bindi · 19-04-2005, 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CH7472

As a house husband yep thats right we (my wife and i) made the choise some time ago that she could make more than i ever could. I get some very strange looks from most people i tell they on the most part think i am a widower. Our house hold runs just fine my wife god bless her is just the best. I love to cook and do all of the running around, have done for the last 3 or 4 years now. Our daughter thinks it is normal and most of her freinds think it is great that her dad takes such an interest in her life, god nos i misted so much when she was born up until she was 11 or 12. I would not change back for anything. One thing i would say is that most guys think it is a cake walk, i no i did all those years ago. Big John.

Oh well done Big John, that rules. I like to hear of this cos you are a rare man in a female dominated job market. Anything other job and ppl would've gone to the antidiscrimination board.

BJ · 19-04-2005, 07:46 PM

Most mothers and wifes say that.I think in this day and age more men should give it a go. Before the switch i was a full time Motor Mechanic and it was a hard thing for me to do but now i wouldnt change a thing.

MotherNatureVer2 · 19-04-2005, 08:26 PM

Big John .... its a shame your married :P

Hehehehhehehehe I could do with a bloke like you ...... it wqould restore my faith in man :P

Well I spose you have anyway just relaying your story ......

Thanks Big John ...... you my matey are a legend ;)

BJ · 19-04-2005, 10:35 PM

Most women say that to. It can get hard some times because some of my old freinds think i have gone soft, but they dont see the up side of it. Over the last few years i have seen more and more men take a bigger role in the running of there house hold but not to the extent of role reversel. As i said in my other post it was very hard at the start because my average workday I would start at 4.30 am and i would finnish work at 7.00 8.00 oclock at night( we ran our own work shop) and I did this for over fifteen years. It got to the point that i could no longer physicaly do it any more. (I have osteoarthritis in all of my joints) so the desition was made and we havent look back since.