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The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat |
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#1 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Central Q..10kms west of Rocky...
Posts: 8,307
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Top Four Adult Jokes
Fourth Place: A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your ***** is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Third One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Runner Up: Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his ***** into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my ***** into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, Bill, you didn't" she exclaimed. "Yes, I did." he replied. "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" "Oh...she got fired too." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Winner: A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago." "Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times." Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago." "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal." |
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#2 | ||
AFF Post NAZI
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Albury
Posts: 3,634
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lol seen them b4 but still good for a laugh.
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"Its not always about power, The car has to handle Beautifully" |
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#3 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Canberra
Posts: 13,374
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#5 | ||
AFF Post NAZI
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Albury
Posts: 3,634
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Got Milk?
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"Its not always about power, The car has to handle Beautifully" |
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#6 | ||
XR5TBO
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: LEETON, NSW
Posts: 502
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Mine: Ford Focus XR5 [XR5TBO] 2008 Ford Fiesta XR4 DJR Team mate #14 |
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#7 | |||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
![]() Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 2,146
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Quote:
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#8 | ||
1967 XR Falcon
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: South Coast
Posts: 2,231
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There once was a man named enis..
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Coflash.com |
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#9 | ||
Bseries Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Sydney
Posts: 3,928
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mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm creaaaammy lol
those are crackers! that pickle slicer is a hottie but i work next door :P
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Long Live the Rugerspeed Primer Destroyer! Only those that attempt the absurd achieve the impossible. Serviced and maintained by Mascot Auto Repairs
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#10 | |||
Regular Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 157
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Quote:
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#11 | |||
MIGHTY MAGPIES 2010
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: yarram se vic in the shed listening to pinkfloyd and rubbing panels
Posts: 3,081
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Quote:
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#12 | ||||
BoostedUTE
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 292
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Quote:
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#13 | ||
EBII XR6
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Bendigo. Victoria
Posts: 5,278
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DEVLXR
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