Depression, Anxiety

[Squalo]

Originally Posted by Rapid_Axe

I haven't been in a good place for about a month now. The worst thing I miss is my ex and my son's constant company and it's really doing my head in as they were the rocks I had to help me out of the headspace I'm in and cause they are there now as such I can't stop the thoughts.

Yep that has been my experience too - separated from ex two years ago and still occasionally struggle with being solo (living by myself). Keeping busy, both physically and mentally, is key for me, but it's still too easy to drift back into thoughts of what went wrong, why, what I could have done differently... none of which is particularly constructive.

A month ago I too was at a low ebb, but recognised where I was heading - so then dug deep - stopped drinking as much, made more of an effort to get out and cycle hard a couple of times a week, focused on good healthy eating, made more effort at work etc. All of which combined to bring me back, and although there's still a fairly constant feeling of emptiness, for the most part I'm firing on all 8.

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by Squalo

Yep that has been my experience too - separated from ex two years ago and still occasionally struggle with being solo (living by myself). Keeping busy, both physically and mentally, is key for me, but it's still too easy to drift back into thoughts of what went wrong, why, what I could have done differently... none of which is particularly constructive.

A month ago I too was at a low ebb, but recognised where I was heading - so then dug deep - stopped drinking as much, made more of an effort to get out and cycle hard a couple of times a week, focused on good healthy eating, made more effort at work etc. All of which combined to bring me back, and although there's still a fairly constant feeling of emptiness, for the most part I'm firing on all 8.

good on you and thanks for the positive outlook, a few of us might not be able to get there but hearing about it can only help...

heartache has made cold, as to be with 1 person and not worry for life, a gift, to lose it...
it is hard, kids obviously come first in our thoughts, but i got through that ,(after attempted to take the cowards way, so no applause please) i did get through it without my son being affected by any of it, by doing just as you said, job that suited my disorder, boss who cared, new town, good diet, and exercise came with the job, but as all that is/was/will be good in my life, it comes in dribs and drabs due to misdirection and inhability to control emotional decisions, we are working on that now aren't we trej? yes sir! Goal... after the oldies are inducted into the afterlife, all hands on deck psych, GP, Centrelink and Me and my arrow to see your healthy attitude and raise you a six pack, of beer in case i don't have enough drive left for Gym

[Tui2]

well it's getting close to the end for the old man now, as he has just given up, won't get out of bed, won't eat more than 3 mouthfuls of porridge for breaky.. nothing bar a cup of tea for lunch and 3 bites of dinner,(with the exception of a medium coffee frappe, be it dinner or lunch) and homemade soup from his estranged daughter or from his estranged step granddaughter. they're coming from far and wide now. but i don't want to be bitter or judgemental like my mother, which I'm gradually shaking off, so i will say most seem genuine at wanting to just say goodbye.
thinking i should just look at buying nice sweet things for him to eat whenever he feels like it, and just do the 3 meals for us 3, (mum,me,dog), anyway new meds are not picking up to where i need to be, walking the beach with dog is the key, but time to myself is scarcer now more than ever, so music mosh in garage at the end of the day to drown out their echoes, is meditation for now, keep well all

[nuthin' fancy]

Have a good one T - do something nice for yourself.

[Beastie]

Happy Birthday T

[kaniSS]

Quick update on my situation.

I finally quit my job and I could not get over how better my mood improved. Like a bag of bricks lifted off my shoulders. I feel so much better. My wife said to take a month off and go do things I like, so I booked a 3 day golf trip at a Resort, fishing trips, boating, sailing, canoeing...you name it. Pretty glad I finished this job it was a drain on my mental health.

After I take my month off I will begin to look for a new job with a more work life balance

[Tui2]

hi all and thanks for the PMs, I've just returned from a psychiatry session, bit of downer this time, due to recent circumstances concerning my stepfather etc.
i am now on ANOTHER MED TRIAL, still have my day meds, but back on valium for emergency anxiety attacks, and a 'new to me' serotonin level raising med which I'll talk about after a couple of weeks of introduction into the system, as long as no side effects of Real Concern arise before then that is, which i am a weary of due to a case of Serotonin Syndrome i encountered once (too much serotonin)
hope all is keeping well for all and good luck kaniSS with your new vocation.
caio 4 naio

[Romulus]

Originally Posted by Trejo

hi all and thanks for the PMs, I've just returned from a psychiatry session, bit of downer this time, due to recent circumstances concerning my stepfather etc.
i am now on ANOTHER MED TRIAL, still have my day meds, but back on valium for emergency anxiety attacks, and a 'new to me' serotonin level raising med which I'll talk about after a couple of weeks of introduction into the system, as long as no side effects of Real Concern arise before then that is, which i am a weary of due to a case of Serotonin Syndrome i encountered once (too much serotonin)
hope all is keeping well for all and good luck kaniSS with your new vocation.
caio 4 naio

Bloke, I don't know you from a bar of soap, and I hope you're keeping well and managing with your issue.

What you've said though immediately caught my attention. Maybe part of the problem is treatment with synthetic drugs which the pharmaceutical industry itself acknowledges does not work. Have you ever read a packet insert from the drug manufacturer who's 'medicine' you're taking? You should check out some of the side effects, which include the same condition which you're trying to get over.

One of the contradictions of modern medicine is how can a product that's poisonous to a healthy person make a sick person healthy? It's completely idiotic, yet most people can't see this.

How's your diet, what do you eat?

[Pis-ton broke]

Originally Posted by Romulus

How's your diet, what do you eat?

+1 not much funny living like this.

did you no that "experts" say that 70% of the population is magnesium defishant, and magnesium affects many important fictions in the body, ie nerves,muscles, blood persure, the list goes on, is used to treat adhd,sleep disorders etc.

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by Romulus

Bloke, I don't know you from a bar of soap, and I hope you're keeping well and managing with your issue.

What you've said though immediately caught my attention. Maybe part of the problem is treatment with synthetic drugs which the pharmaceutical industry itself acknowledges does not work. Have you ever read a packet insert from the drug manufacturer who's 'medicine' you're taking? You should check out some of the side effects, which include the same condition which you're trying to get over.

One of the contradictions of modern medicine is how can a product that's poisonous to a healthy person make a sick person healthy? It's completely idiotic, yet most people can't see this.

How's your diet, what do you eat?

I hear you and understand completely.. but it is not my first time around and YES diet and exercise are major influences in health 100% no one can argue that.. it is just a wearisome. weak willed.. bad attitude..good attitude.. others to take care of.. put first.. try later.. can't be can be.. misdiagnosed decades..wrong meds . damage done .. wrong place right time vice versa but I will not give in the third time... the way it seems to go for me.. life. And thank you for giving the time to reassure The There Are People Who Care To input
A. The meds are to 1. ease anxiety in public
2. Allow me to focus on 1 activity set out to be achievedone
3. Prevent depression from destroying all efforts.
1 out of 3 is a good result these days

[Gypzy]

So today I drove 400klms, 5 hours with only two wee wee stops, just me and my dog Gypzy. Left the wife at home with her sister, and our other two dogs.
I have some serious health issues going on around me, Dad with Dementia, and other big problems. Mum cracking it because she is his primary carer. The wife with lung cancer. She is also recovering from a fractured L4 (lower back) which put her out of action for two months. She's coming good this week thank God.
I'm having a drink by my self, some "me time". Not getting drunk, just some time to think, alone. My brother gets hear tomorrow to get on it! Camp fire going goodly, and just us two to have a chat. Been a long time since I've sat around a fire by myself and just chill.
Cheers.

[Grega]

Brent, I won't have them much longer. For the most of it I am OK. Erectile dysfunction ie: it doesn't work too good plus it disables alot of your emotions ie: if you want to have a good cry about something good luck. Other than that its OK for me anyway.

[superyob]

I am truly sad to read a lot of these posts. As I have said before, I cannot relate to depression or anxiety disorders (I do tie myself in knots about my family's safety but I think that's normal) but the despair evident in these pages is like looking into the dark abyss of lost souls. I hope there is some happiness in amongst the blackness you experience...

[asagaai]

Have a personal relationship problem, cannot find a solution despite years of mulling over it like a dog with a bone. Engaging with a temporary pragmatic "solution" few days back brought on a black mood, and I could feel the black dog fog looming in.

This lunch time, sat at beach, decided to get a dark chocolate bar to gee me up for work, walking back to office with bar in pocket, I passed a decent looking husband and wife, mid fifties, good physical shape, and their daughter probably young twenties, blond, very attractive face, sitting in a self motoring wheelchair. She was cognitively fine, but suffered quadriplegia and had limited use of her left hand, which controlled the motorised controls.

She was hunched over, taken care of her dress and personal grooming and makeup, which made her withered body, operating the mechanised wheelchair, with her parents accompanying her, all the more tragic for some reason. I wondered what caused her quadriplegia so young, car accident, sporting accident, spinal tumour.....

Looking at this terribly sad situation, and my problems objectively, made me realise, what positive good things I have got that I take for granted. And perhaps, that problem I have which I have no solution for, maybe I should just accept it is what it is, not overtly focus on it, but look at all the other good things around it, and place it in objective context to the whole.

I do not want to trivialise other peoples situations who have posted, but this perception hit me and if part of a persons depression is a life circumstance problem, forcing the mind to selectively focus on the surrounding good stuff objectively may help. Anyway, that is my plan.

[Silver']

It's a great plan!

[BENT_8]

Yeah top post asagaai!

Theres always someone out there who's doing it that much tougher, its one of the reasons i dont talk too much about my issues in day to day life.
Probably one of the reasons a lot of people dont open up when necessary too.

I quite often ask myself why im so open on a public internet forum, to a bunch of usernames who ive never put a face too ( which is probably sharp self preservation skills with how controversial and brutally honest i can come across at times) but i just feel comfortable reading and sharing in this environment because its just as easy to switch off.
It is a dark place, but it also highlights how something as simple as an ear, or eyes in this case, can make an otherwise hopeless situation find perspective.

Peace and positive thoughts people.

[fairlymont]

after having a quick read though some of the posts here, I felt compelled to share my story.

I was diagnosed with major depression last July. it kind of snuck up on me out of nowhere after being good for a long time. I struggled with these feelings in my teenage years and dulled them with alcohol and I was a binge drinker. back then I didn't really know what it was that I was feeling so I never sought treatment. I stopped drinking completely after my stepfather died of liver cancer - he told me he believed he got it because he was a drinker. he wasn't a alcoholic or a drunk, in his words it was because he drank more than most people.

over time I noticed the classic symptoms that most people get creeping up again. I was losing interest in things I normally enjoyed, became withdrawn and started cutting people off and generally feeling like crap. I'd then feel even worse off because I knew that there are people out there who are worse off than me and started to feel guilty about feeling like crap because I'm young (25) I have a decent job, some money in the bank, a few cars, motorbike, etc. I tried to keep busy and told myself that I was stupid, ungrateful and a ****wit for feeling how I did.

a few months of that passed and the feelings of negativity, depression, agitation and dread started getting worse. I started getting suicidal thoughts. I stopped eating, I stopped sleeping and I actually started to plan how I was going to take my own life. the only thing that stopped me was not wanting to put my family through the pain I was feeling.

I went to see my GP, and thats how I got the ball rolling and was diagnosed with severe depression. I started seeing a phycologist every fortnight and started on antidepressants (mirtazapine) after bumping up the drugs a few months later and finishing up with the phycologist early this year, I was feeling good.

I bumped down the mirtazapine because I was feeling better and feeling the side affects that go with that drug (I packed on weight, my hunger was ferocious and I was feeling groggy and tired all the time) and continued on the lower dosage for a few months. recently the symptoms have started coming back, along with crippling panic attacks. I didn't want to be reliant on the mirtaz again (horrible stuff if you start feeling the side effects and made me feel like a zombie and zero sex drive) I recently switched from mirtazapine to valdoxan and deralin. the valdoxan so far seems to be taking the edge off and I haven't had any severe withdrawals from the mirtaz. only downside is the cost of it - about $70 a month and the need for regular liver function tests. which probably are a good idea considering my abuse of the drink in the past.

well, thats my story. if anyone is interested in my progress on valdoxan, just let me know. the gp said it's a fairly new drug in Australia and is supposed to not produce any of the side affects that come with most other medications.

[Tui2]

this haz been a good week of posts, all positive end results.
i want to add that no matter how hopeless i sound one week and positive the next and how trivial my condition may seem, my motto always has been ' go for a walk when you are really down - via the childrens wing in a major hospital, perspectivs. still it doesn't change what we are not strong enough to do. the only focus that matters has to be on ourselves 100% until we are happy of achieving that goal,,which in depression usually means we are off the meds and supporting helthy selves. what i have achieved in 9 months compared to 40years, well only i know and care.
healthy diet, regular exercise and a vocation that only you know why/how you do it.
I'm just waiting on a friend to take me fishing in his boat, and that will be the first rung of a social ladder that i i intend to climb to get back into life and fight this sorrow. keep well all

[BENT_8]

This is gonna sound crazy, and sort of contradicts what i said in my last post, but, i honestly feel like if there was a campfire in the middle of the country and everyone who contributes to this thread was able to be there, despite all of our inner deamons, it would be a wonderfully peaceful and supportive experience.
I guess for now, this thread is that campfire.

[danzvtil]

Well done on the campfire thread fellas.
I was close to hitting a wall, the last few months my second job had me working all weekend which was tiring me out (unusually), my day job took me to a work conference interstate which meant for 3 whole days and nights I had no alone time, so I told the boss I was taking 2 days annual leave and hopped in my car. Drove 300 kays stayed in a motel, tore up some dirt roads, saw some sights alone. Came back with a smile and a muddy car, the work mates think im strange, but it put some credit back in the mental bank....

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by danzvtil

Well done on the campfire thread fellas.
I was close to hitting a wall, the last few months my second job had me working all weekend which was tiring me out (unusually), my day job took me to a work conference interstate which meant for 3 whole days and nights I had no alone time, so I told the boss I was taking 2 days annual leave and hopped in my car. Drove 300 kays stayed in a motel, tore up some dirt roads, saw some sights alone. Came back with a smile and a muddy car, the work mates think im strange, but it put some credit back in the mental bank....

yes THAT IS the way, the answer, but grabbing hold of the notion when it comes past, can be blinded so easily when depressed, so we all should have at least one person we agree to go get and help them out the door to join the conga line on our way to what is a really good idea that only needs the strong to lead and the wills to follow, I'm exited and that in it's self is an achievement plus worthy of a good star on my next psych report (just hair envy)

[Beastie]

FWIW Guys, I just read this article and thought, hmmm this is something that can effect all of us...including role models or public figures who we may or may not respect...

http://www.speedcafe.com/2016/06/04/315160/

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by The Beast

FWIW Guys, I just read this article and thought, hmmm this is something that can effect all of us...including role models or public figures who we may or may not respect...

http://www.speedcafe.com/2016/06/04/315160/

excellent! you are an eerie Guy Totally, (in a good way, meaning..) out of the blue, pardon the pun, you post that, during my good fight on this downer of a month personally, giving me the strength to keep my head up for final leg to Tuesday's psychiatric appointment. To put context to my babble, if you go back and read my comment after the article, you'll see what i now have just had my eyes opened to, from one of my meets with Mr Bowe arund 20 years ago? excuse me but i must go digging underneath the house now to find poster and if ts still visable/visual/ IF IT HASN'T BEEN RUINED,

[TheSneakiness]

Originally Posted by The Beast

FWIW Guys, I just read this article and thought, hmmm this is something that can effect all of us...including role models or public figures who we may or may not respect...

http://www.speedcafe.com/2016/06/04/315160/

Always been a fan of JB since I met him in Surfers one year and it just shows everyone how well hidden this can be.

Fade to Black by Metallica seems to be a theme for me at the moment.

[Tui2]

Hi all.. I go for my assessment interview on Tuesday for the Dialectal Behavioural Therapy course, that I've been awaiting so long to do (obviously all my life) as this is a fairly new concept designed for specifically my disorder, an extension of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Excited I'd be
Keep well all

[TheSneakiness]

Just takes one thing to set you back off again. Doesn't matter how big or small.

Had a bit of an eye opener with the ex the start of this week and put into perspective how much of a c-bomb I have been the last 6 years. Been doing a bit of reading and I am ready to make these changes.

Just wish she would let me show her that I am wanting to make these changes not only for our friendship but for our son as well. I know she is hurting a bit too cause her friendship base she is trying to build isn't working and she's frustrated, when that happens trying to break it down for her to open up is like trying to raid a gold reserve with a spoon.

Two things I try to think of each day

1. If you feel tempers flaring just think of a stop sign and take a deep breath.
2. If someone is important to you don't give up on them if they are doing it tough.

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by Rapid_Axe

Just takes one thing to set you back off again. Doesn't matter how big or small.

Had a bit of an eye opener with the ex the start of this week and put into perspective how much of a c-bomb I have been the last 6 years. Been doing a bit of reading and I am ready to make these changes.

Just wish she would let me show her that I am wanting to make these changes not only for our friendship but for our son as well. I know she is hurting a bit too cause her friendship base she is trying to build isn't working and she's frustrated, when that happens trying to break it down for her to open up is like trying to raid a gold reserve with a spoon.

Two things I try to think of each day

1. If you feel tempers flaring just think of a stop sign and take a deep breath.
2. If someone is important to you don't give up on them if they are doing it tough.

good on ya mate,, i feel ya, 1. went through same thing ..be it near 20 years ago now, and 2. your last paragraph. .. i am trying to get my ex..fiancé of 2007-2015 (not ex wife of 1994-1998) to understand that i am working on cognitive behaviour (dialectical ) by going through the proper channels to do so.

so you KEEP UP THE POSITIVE ATTITUDE and remember when it comes down to brass tacks, you are doing it for yourself and not everyone can understand just how much of fight this is, therefore we can't expect them too, and if that type of person won't support us or attempt to understand us,,then we must let them go and move on. thoughts are with you.

[Junkyard-Dog]

Rapid Axe you seem like a very reasonable person. I totally get where you are coming from but you need to stop beating yourself up if you want to move forwards. It's not all about self-improvement, self-acceptance is crucial as well.

[Tui2]

depressed over the lack of respect for customers and careless business owners whom seem to work on the fact that they don't need your business as someone will buy anyway. can't get passed this STILL , a big anxiety factor in preventing me from shopping centres and having to take the price offered at the ON LY store I'm comfortable at (especially because i can take my dog in with me which eleviates one of the my MAJOR anxiety issues... blablabla just tired ad worn thin and trying many coping strategies to get through this DYING PARENT situation on top off my everyday- eratic- thought- patterns, (which now being aware of HELPS I may add) just to survive a day at a time.
keep well all

[Tui2]

an odd feeling pressure was lifted yesterday morning around 8am when my oldman drew his last breath on this rock to which he returns to on Wednesday, my mother....well lets keep this short n sweet, thankyou to all for your kind words of support.,keep well