i'm not coming if there's not going to be dancing girls in bikinis 
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-Before Chuck Norris visited them, they were called "The Virgin Islands" Now, they're just "The Islands"
-Mathematicians have found that due to the excessive amount of women Chuck Norris has slept with, it is guaranteed that he appears in your family tree a minimum of three times
-Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.
-Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly Cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.
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